Goal Setting For Personal Growth

Set Goals, Not Limits, a blog by Deliapg
Source: Canva

Recently, R.H.O.N.Y. cast member Eboni K. Williams faced criticism for stating in an interview with Iyanla Vanzant on the Modern Women and Feminity that she would not date a bus driver unless he owned the company. In a separate interview, Eboni triggered black America with words like the “bigotry of low expectations,” average jobs, and the definition of exceptionalism. 

This post will not focus on whether or not I agree with Eboni or her delivery because she stands by what she said. Instead, I will focus on the message many people missed. I will focus on the importance of goal setting to understand why she believes “the bigotry of low expectations” exists. 

In this blog post, you will discover why goal setting is essential, some approaches you can use to set your goals, and why so many people struggle to keep them, so you don’t. 

commenters supporting Eboni K. Williams
Source: screenshot of the comment section of the shade room

Importance of Goal Setting

Setting a goal is vital because goals are a measurement of your growth. Goals stretch your mind and belief system. Goals are little markers throughout your life that you were challenged by and were able to overcome. 

These are some additional reasons why goal setting is important:

  • It gives you a purpose and direction
  • Foster’s commitment to yourself
  • It builds your confidence/self-esteem 

One of the points Eboni was trying to make is that far too many of us are comfortable with the status quo or are content with what society dictates we should have. Now if you’re the person that finds their current role fulfilling and allows you to walk in your purpose, then this doesn’t apply to you. But if you are not fulfilled, figure out what’s getting in the way and create the excitement to set new goals. 

As the goal-setting theory suggests, you should set specific goals that you can measure and then achieve.

Commenters stand with Eboni K Williams remarks on goals
Source: screenshot of the comment section of the shade room

Objectives You Can Reach

The minute you stop setting goals, you stunt your growth. Goals push you to be more than you think is possible. While debating the topic on the Breakfast Club, Eboni brought up her frustration with Black America not encouraging one another to live up to their potential like other cultures do. She mentioned that everyone, especially Black America, must expand their skills to keep up with the market.

When I was assisting, I got comfortable. I made the income I desired, I was training new hires, and I was helping people. Somewhere along the way, I became unhappy because I hadn’t set any new goals and fell into a routine. 

There’s no one way to set a goal, and if you’re feeling stuck and unsure how to start, here are a few strategies you can try: 

Backward Goal Setting

This strategy makes you look at your goals from a different perspective. Once you’ve envisioned your plan, work backward to determine the steps or actions you need to take to achieve it. Not having a strategy is where most people go wrong or at least slow down the rate at which they complete them. 

When I think about The Backward Goal Setting method, I’m reminded of the Law of Pure Potentiality from Deepak Chopra’s The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. This principle says we are full of potential and can tap into infinite creativity and all possibilities. So if you have the vision, you can attain it because the universe will provide it. 

S.M.A.R.T. Goals

S.M.A.R.T. is an acronym for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. When you use this method, your goals are monitored strategically; there’s a timeline for when the goal will be completed.

Here’s a more detailed explanation of each of the S.M.A.R.T. criteria:

  • Specific: Your goals are clear and well-defined.
  • Measurable:  Measure your goal so you can track your progress.
  • Achievable: It should be possible and realistic.
  • Relevant: Goals should align with your overall objectives.
  • Time-bound: Everything begins and ends, so give it a deadline.

Incremental Goal setting

Incremental goals are the ones that start small and work their way into bigger ones. If you are faced with an important goal, break it down into smaller pieces to increase the likelihood of completing it and reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed. Every goal doesn’t have to be a vast project or life-altering experience.

I took a look at the goals I set for myself in January. Although I have yet to reach my number one goal of owning an event space or driving a fuschia pink Volkswagon Tiguan, I was happy that I had met the smaller goals that would lead me there. 

Why People Struggle with Goals

I attend several business seminars and workshops throughout the year, and they almost always mention the same two reasons that prevent people from growing in business or why they are broke. Reason one is they don’t have a vision and therefore don’t know what they want. The second reason is that they need a system or a plan.

Cynthia Martin, a mindset coach, revealed that 42% of people who make New Year’s resolutions and set goals will give up on them by February. They revert to their old habits out of frustration because they have not been able to create the momentum necessary to achieve their goals. 

You have to do the inner work. That’s where you find what is truly required from the mind and body to achieve your objectives.

Cynthia Martin

Learn more about Cynthia’s methods of transforming your mindset on Just B You Podcast episode 202 – Gain Clarity & Unshackle Limiting Beliefs below:

Just B You Podcast Available on Spotify and wherever you listen to podcasts

Comparison to Others

Angelic Willams, entrepreneur and the course creator of Toxic Ambition says that most people fail to reach their goals because they compare themselves to people with incomparable talents and skill sets. She teaches people how to create healthy goals by defining their why in a five why’s exercise and modeling after individuals with similar skills, backgrounds, etc. 

Listen to the full Just B You Podcast episode, Toxic Ambition with Angelic Williams to learn how you can reach your goals without becoming toxic.

Commenters of the shade room agree with Eboni about goal setting
Source: screenshot of the comment section of the shade room


Eboni K. Williams caught everyone’s attention when she stated who she wouldn’t date, but the world lost sight of the bigger picture. Watching the interviews and reading the comments felt like a scene from Netflix’s Don’t Look Up. Between breaking down why goals are important, the techniques used to meet them, and why people struggle to achieve goals, it all comes down to mindset.

So ask yourself: will I be offended that Eboni doesn’t want to date a bus driver, or will I work on my mindset to achieve my goals? 

commenter remarks from the shade room about goal setting
Source: screenshot of the comment section of the shade room

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